This is a question I ask myself a lot lately.
When I open my eyes in the morning, when I get dressed for work, when I drive there, whilst I'm there, when I drive home and during the quieter moments of an evening.
Today bore no real difference from another, other than I got to leave work for two hours........one for lunch and the other to pay a visit to my docs for my three year check (the girls know what I mean) involving something resembling a metal sugar dummy and a lollipop stick!!!!!! OH JOY!!!!!!!!!!
THIS MORNING
Atmosphere much the same in pokey-hole but the sun was shining which made a little bit of a difference. Post remained on stairs for an hour today until I moved it in a westerly direction towards Myrtle's desk but not actually on it...beats me why I'm scared of just putting it there like she does but there ya go, never one to cause trouble and I'm crap at putting on a fake smile!
Low and behold only half an hour after it was placed on cupboard, did she pick it up and actually do it!!
AFTERNOON
So off I trots to the GP and am quickly greeted by my usual nurse who ushers me straight to an available room and we begin to chat about things in general, tests are done quickly and we carry on with our chat. Thought it was now time to take the opportunity of discussing with her the way I was feeling at the moment and how I've been suffering with what can only be described as 'the jitters'. Told her how I suffer most days and my heart races, I get breathless, flutters in the throat and generally feeling under the weather. She agrees that she's certain it's panic attacks but that it's not normal for me to be suffering on a daily basis and that I should make an appointment with GP for them to carry out an ECG to rule anything nasty out. Asked her professional opinion, what did she really think it was, and she is certain that it is stress related but nevertheless, something else could be causing it which needs to be checked.
Dont know if I feel relieved or worse!!!!!! But I know that I need to reduce my stress levels, not that certain situations are going to be easy to change but I have to make some headway because I'm far too young to be suffering like this, I want to enjoy my life without the constant fear that today will be another one of 'those days' wondering when the next attack will strike 